“What? I don’t see a board game going on. It’s just you and I having coffee. Are you ok?” my friend said to me.
“Sure I am. I’m just fine, and so are you.” Observing his reaction, I followed my statement by saying; “That was an interesting move you just made. Good play.”
He said to me, “but I’m not playing any game. There’s no cards in my hand, no playing board on the table, no dice in my hands. So please. Enlighten me; and what do you mean exactly by “good play” in this supposed game of Monopoly?”
“I meant “good play” for Questioning me like that. I mean it’s a very common reaction to something you don’t understand; and I’m sure that at first, it does seem crazy;, but let me explain myself further. It’s my move now, ok?”
“uhhh ok. I’ll humor the crazy man.” He said with a slightly puzzled look on his face while smiling wryly at me; all with the anticipation of a good laugh. “Go ahead” he continued, while sipping his coffee. “I could use the entertainment anyway.”
“Well I said; it’s like this as I see it…
We can choose to roll the dice to take our turn in the game of being incarnated in this realm, in this existence. It’s a choice we make, just as everything is ultimately a choice.
When we’re here, we’re here with a purpose and a plan with lessons to learn for ourselves, and lessons to teach others. It’s a game, it’s life, but it’s also a school; a place of learning; and just like any game, incarnated life has rules of things we must follow (breathing, eating, sleeping, etc) if we are to be incarnated here and play the game. Some people play the game very well by materialistic standards. They become very rich in the material sense; (but that doesn’t mean they are wealthy; which is another matter entirely); but that doesn’t mean that they have taught or learned everything they should during this game, this incarnation. Lessons not taught and lessons not learned will be repeated until completed. In this material world, the game can be all about the ego, obtaining material riches, and the clichéd “Keeping up with the Jones” and listening the anonymous “They” that permeates so much of our society; or you can rise above it and play the game on a different level entirely. This doesn’t mean that you can avoid certain rules of the realm, like not eating, sleeping, or breathing, and you’ll still require money to live in our society, shelter in which to sleep, etc; however, you can transcend the ego and it’s self-centered need for survival. You can choose to not only do that, but you can also choose to transcend the need, want and desire for material things beyond your own self-interest. This is not to suggest that you live in destitution or go broke to live in poverty, giving away everything you own; instead I am saying look at the reasons why you own things and how you may better utilize them as tools for the benefit of mankind. When you do these things, you are still playing the game, but on another level entirely.
While one person may choose to acquire material goods for their own perceived status and personal reasons; another may choose to acquire the very same things, but for entirely different reasons – to help others. This is not to say that one is “better” or “worse” than the other, only merely different methods of playing the game on different levels. Be not of this world, but be in it. Be not of the past nor the future; but instead be of the now, in full focus of the present moment, in perfect clarity of mind, thought, action and deed. Be. Just be.
So now my questions to you are:
If you realize that you are now in this game, how are you playing it?
If you realize you are now in this school, how are you learning from it?
If you realize you are now in this school, how are you teaching it?
If you realize you know all of these things already, yet you live life thinking that you are somehow outside of it all, or that you only do these things at certain times instead of all of the time, I ask you this: Why?”
So now as I stop here and look at my friend across the table from me, a twinkle forms in my own eye and with a knowing wink I say, “Your move.”
Enlightenment is like the monkey with a hand on the apple in the jar, frustrated, the monkey tries everything it can think of to get the apple out, including trying to bust the jar, but all to no avail. Finally, the monkey gives up and lets go of the apple as the monkey lays the jar down; the apple rolls out and the monkey receives what it wanted all along. That's the key, "letting go.” It's not the same as "giving up", no, it's letting go, and there’s a huge difference between the two. Letting go is just being the I am. All you need to obtain enlightenment is within you, just as you are within the All, the All is within you. Ego is the belief in the illusion of individuality; and out of this illusion comes fear which is the basis of all strife and suffering. Scarcity is fear-based, while abundance is love-based, but these are only two such examples out of many countless of which we may compare. So what is the answer to enlightenment then? The closest I can compare it in words is this: A Knowing and feeling at the soul level of your inter-connectedness to and as part of the whole of the All That Is and The Source from which it is, resulting in an inner peace and comfortable beyond intellectual knowledge.
A good saying I read was “Before enlightenment, chopping wood and carrying water. After enlightenment, chopping wood and carrying water. Enlightenment is a subtle process, whereas the process of becoming Awake can be rather jarring for some people. It can be very sudden, or such as it was in my own case, very subtle. Being Awake and being Enlightened are two entirely different things as well. One may be Awake, but not Enlightened; but all who are Enlightened, are Awake. Comparatively for example, All who have knowledge are not wise; but all who are wise have knowledge. Even when one is Enlightened, one does not say “That is it. I have achieved it. I am Enlightened.” No. If one does that, then one must question if they are indeed Enlightened or just merely Awake. When one is Enlightened, one asks “This is what I know, but what do I know not?” Enlightenment is often perceived as something to achieve, a destination, linear, but it isn’t that at all. Yes, it’s a milestone of sorts, but really it’s just a stepping stone on the journey. I’d like to use the concept of the before Enlightenment/After Enlightenment quote from above, and say: Before Enlightenment, seeking; After Enlightenment, still seeking. This is not to say that when you become enlightened that you won’t find answers to some of your questions; but you’ll also find that you’ll have many more questions than answers.
So what’s the difference between being an unenlightened and an enlightened then?
I can’t answer that for you with a blanket statement or answer; but I can answer it for myself and how I relate to it in my own experience in the hope that it will help you with your own experiences.
So what’s the point of becoming enlightened?
I think this question can be answered a multitude of different ways, just as the question “What is the meaning of life?” can also be answered in multiple ways; so I will answer it from my viewpoint as concisely as I can, lest I try and be all-inclusive and write a book about it vs. an article:
To grow, to change, to provide better service to others and to leave this World a better place for me having been in it.
Long ago I chose to opt out of the typical holiday season and its traditional trappings because I no longer wish to partake of many things that go along with it all. That’s not to say that there aren’t people out there who don’t strike their own path and do their own thing while still observing some sort of holiday tradition, but many people march to a very familiar drummer whose beat starts on Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving Day in the US. (Although that beat seems to start earlier and earlier each year.)
Like so many things in life, people follow along or continue to do many things out of habit and expectations from family, friends, or society-at-large; and this includes the running of the holiday rate race where for the vast majority of people consumerism and consumption is king. The first of the “Big 3” is Thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving is a traditional holiday where we celebrate and give gratitude; but I must ask this simple question: Why only one day out of the year? If we wish to schedule in a time to have gratitude, then let us schedule that time in every second that we live, how we live, and why we live, all in gratitude. Let this be your ritual, let this be your rite, a life of gratitude lived in gratitude.
For you, I am grateful.
For All, I am grateful.
Ask not what there is to be grateful for, but instead ask, what ISN’T there to be grateful for? Even in my trains and tribulations, I am grateful.
For all that I have, and for all that I have not, I am grateful.
For all that I am, I am grateful.
For all that I may become, I am grateful.
I am grateful for the now. For now is all we have. Time, past and future, is merely perception. Live in gratitude for the now; and now you will live in gratitude. Simple. Easy. It is.
So when someone says that I must celebrate on some special day to give thanks, I ask them if they celebrate the now and the moment that is special. I ask them if they live their moment, their life of now in the now, or do they live it looking to the past and to the future, neither of which exist? To not live in the now does a disservice to the life that you are, and to the now in which you exist. To not live in the now, is ungrateful because you are missing out on the most important thing you have to be grateful for: NOW.
What are you grateful for?
Focus on the now and you will find out.
I propose starting a gratitude journal, writing down everything and anything you can be grateful for, even if it seems like it is difficult to be grateful for it. Perhaps in doing so, you’ll look at things in a new light and gain new insight about yourself,….and for that, you can also be grateful. If you walk this path, you will find inner peace for which you may also be grateful.
Christmas
Here we have the tradition of Christmas, which I see as really two holidays. One is a religious-based celebration and the other is secularized, consumer-based holiday that overshadows the religious holiday. In regards to the secular consumerism of the holiday, I’ve found that people are often times not only spent financially, but emotionally as well. If one follows the tenets of the religious-based holiday and the related celebration; then one must conclude that this is counter to the message of the secular and consumer-based holiday. Both versions of this holiday have gift giving in them, however therein lies the difference between them because one is meant to honor a king, while the other only honors the corporate pocketbook which only sees cash as king.
If we wish to focus on the aspect of the giving of gifts, then what better gift to give then of yourself? Yes, I suppose it is nice to be able to give expensive or brand-name material things to your family and friends that you purchased online or from a brick and mortar store; and while this could be considered giving of yourself because of the thought and time that went into acquiring such things, what I’m talking about at is giving of yourself at a much deeper and meaningful level than that.
Give of your time.
Give of your love.
Give of your compassion.
Give of your empathy.
Give of your forgiveness.
Give these things and other intangible, non-material things every second, every moment of the now; not just certain days of the year (Christmas, Birthdays, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, etc)
You’ll find the greatest gifts to give and receive are the ones that can’t be held in your hands, only in your heart. These are the treasured memories, the hearts of love that bring joy and peace to the soul, and affect the All.
Living a life in gratitude and abundance, living in the now, these are some of the greatest gifts you can have and share with others. By living in the now, you will show others a way which they may see. In living this gift, you share it. In sharing it, others may receive it, in receiving it, others may share it, and the cycle continues on. All that we do is out of love or fear; just as we can choose to perceive abundance or scarcity; all choices are ours to make under the banner of free will.
I love to spend time with my family and friends, regardless of any holiday, birthday or any other reason for doing so, because it is they that are special to me, not the day, the occasion, nor any given reason other than that.
New Year’s Eve
After we’ve given our gratitude the one day or year on Thanksgiving, shopped until we almost drop purchasing things until our credit cards and bank accounts have melted down; we end one year and begin another with a celebration at Midnight. We celebrate the death of one year transitioning into the birth of a new year at the strike of a moment at Midnight. One moment, the click ticks a second later and the moments’ gone and a new moment has begun; or so says the perception of time. We perceive that one moment has past; another has begun, just as we perceive another year has passed and another has begun, yet in both cases, we are always in a moment. One moment. That’s all we really have is just that one moment of the now; but the question is, how do we live it? We seem to place so much focus on a perceived future and a perceived past, yet it’s all the same moment. For some reason, we seem to place importance on these past and futures, certain dates, places and times, and yet we so often miss the very moment we are in of the now; and we end up missing out fully living and fully experiencing our existence in this realm in our incarnated state of being. We miss out.
If you ask me to explain it with logic, I cannot. I couldn’t explain it any more than you could explain the meaning of life or love; but you know it when you see it, when you feel it, when you live it, and yet you can’t describe it, but you know it ways that can’t be communicated in the verbal or written word, only experienced. It’s there just beyond our capacity and ability to reach it without intellectual minds, but our heart and soul can always know what our mind cannot.
I propose that you don’t celebrate a new year, but rather the moment. It’s ok that we perceive time with a linear past, present, and future. I suggest that we choose to perceive each moment as a new beginning and a new ending, its own autonomous cycle of life, death and rebirth anew where we cherish each moment in gratitude and receive abundance and joy for every moment of our lives.
Worked in the music business from 1999-2006, traveling to 48 of the 50 states as a Tour Manager / Guitar Tech (never did Alaska or Hawaii)
Worked thousands of shows doing all sorts of different jobs from local Stagehand, Spot Op, Tour Manager, Guitar/Bass Tech, Driver, Pyro tech, Lighting Director, Stage Manager, Production Manager, and more.
Almost died at a few gigs from road cases rolling off of stages (twice); and once out of the back of a truck.
Recovered a stolen amp and guitar for Spider John Koerner of Koerner, Ray and Glover fame (they influenced bob Dylan.)
Met Metallica in 1984 when Cliff was around R.I.P. brother.
Worked with an amp that was used by The Beatles in 1964 in Washington D.C. This was the first show by the first band of the British Invasion. THE show that started it all. After that, they went on Sullivan and the nation was aware of something big if they didn't feel the vibe before.
Held a single guitar worth $300,000
Held a 1958 Gibson Explorer once owned by Eric Clapton and last worked on by the guitar tech, Seymour Duncan (yes, THAT Seymour Duncan...is there any other??)
Had dinner with Al Jardine of The Beach Boys.
Had conversations with Joey Molland of Badfinger about his first-hand experiences with the Who, The Beatles, Keith Moon, recording with John Lennon, etc.
Worked with Joey Molland's master built Gibson Les Paul. (master built meaning the master builder in every department at Gibson, worked on the guitar.) Gibson has 4 built for Eric Clapton, but Eric didn't want them, so Joey got to pick one out.
retired from the music business is 2006.
I wrote for a local music newspaper from Jan 2004 through March 2007, but quit that to focus more on writing two books I'm knee deep in the middle of.
Found my soulmate and got engaged. We were married in October of 2007.
Was with my Mom when she died from cancer and had the experience of a lifetime. Let's just say I KNOW she is ok. No doubt.
Survived my own case of cancer, Malignant Melanoma (Nodular Type), Stage II B, Clark's Level 5, breslow Level 4, 1/2 inch deep tumor in the left lateral side of my scalp.
Been in 1 really major auto accident, probably 5-6 others, totaled many cars.
Stole 6 bottles of Root Beer Schnaps from a party back in 1987 and did 120 mph around an icy curve in the dead of night. SHARP turn. Angels must have held the car down and on the road.
Had a hammer tossed at me, hit me in the mouth, loosened up my braces, but no teeth.
Used to have a very bad tempter, put a crowbar through a garage door when I was 15. Figured I'd end up hurting someone, got my own anger under control by myself.
Watched a guy get accidentally electrocuted during a concert.
Watched a kid in high school take off 4 fingers with a table saw and witnessed same said fingers being picked up from the ground, covered in saw dust, cleaned off, put on ice as he was rushed to the hospital in shock.
Been deaf from Metallica's concert in 1986 at the Orpheum theater -- and ever since have worn earplugs at ANY show.
Traveled outside of the USA.
Graduated in 1985 from High School.
Have a honorary doctorate degree.
Got ordained. (Yup. I can legally perform weddings, etc) So I went from Roadie to Reverend (non-denominational). Go figure.
Mooned the cops after a concert or two.
Man.... that is just the stuff in the FIRST 42 years, and that's not even ALL of it. So much more I can't think of, have forgotten, etc. I feel like I've lived so many lives within this one, changed and grown so much, that it's not even funny. I've grown, changed, and I'm nowhere near like what I used to be.
Would I change some things? Maybe. Not sure on that because if I did, would it change who I am? Probably. I like the path I am now on. All I can say is, WHAT A RIDE IT IS!!
Alright. Half Time is about over...time for the next 42.
Let not Religion touch this wisdom with its dogmatic hands.
Instead let the spiritual message carry through the ranks without the taint of darkness.
Let me begin:
It is strange that though we serve the same master and carry with us the same message, that we should argue over which pillar of the same building is holding up the roof. We are all in essence the same stone with different symbolic ornamentation. The time has come to realize that our individuality is just as relevant and important as our realization that we are also all the same people.
Chapter 1: The Mean
1. Know that the war between the light and the darkness is always amongst us.
2. The Mean difference between deficiency and excess is the true good potential of creation.
3. Deficiency and Excess are the work of the darkness.
4. Know that there is no room for a relativistic view of good and evil.
5. Know that there is no room for a fundamentalist view of good and evil.
6. Know that both relativism and fundamentalism are deficiency and excess respectively.
7. Know that those who seek the mean seek the truth and remain dynamic in order that they may be able to understand more.
8. Know that those who work away from the mean allow the lie to blind their view and become stagnate in their knowledge of the world.
9. Dynamic Systems Grow
10. Static Systems Do Not
Chapter 2: The Lie
1. Know that the Lie is the weapon of the Darkness
2. Know that the basis of the lie is Ignorance (Lack of Perspective), excess or deficient Pride, Fear, Envy, and Anger.
3. Know that Ignorance is due to the static nature of the darkness and their stagnate view of the world.
4. Know that a person with excess or deficient pride will either be too stubborn to face their wrong or will be too embarrassed to admit that they are wrong.
5. These pride problems go hand in hand with the fear of being found out and ridiculed for being wrong.
6. The problem of Fear leads to many more problems than could be easily enumerated in any text. A few are anger, rage and a further blocking of ones perspective.
7. Know that a person with false pride will envy another, in their static nature being unable to achieve what they are envious of, they then become angry.
8. Know that Pride, Fear, Envy and Anger are all shields of the lie. All of these cloud the perspective of the person and do not allow them to see the truth. They all contribute to the static nature of their ignorance.
9. Know that rage is blind aggressive violent anger that a person resorts to when their emersion in the lie is great and they are presented with the truth too quickly.
10. Only by opening a path to the mind of the person in question can you hope to convey the truth to them.
11. Do not allow anger to consume either yourself or the person, if you do, then the truth cannot be communicated.
12. Do not tell them the truth; instead present them with questions that force them to realize it themselves.
Chapter 3: The Truth
1. Know that the truth is the weapon of the light.
2. Know that the basis of the truth is clear perception founded in information of all sides to reach the mean.
3. Know that that nature of the truth is dynamic always capable of realizing that it may be wrong.
4. The essence of the truth is founded in Bestowing, Knowing and Doing.
5. Good Words, Good Thoughts, Good Deeds.
6. Know that virtues of Temperance, Fortitude, Reason and Energy are the four branches which stem from the mean.
7. Know that Temperance is founded in humility and balance of ones life.
8. Know that Fortitude is founded in ones ability to remain dynamic and in sync with the flow of truth. No one can stand in the way of a person who moves with the inertia of the universe.
9. Know that the truth is dependent upon the shields of the light, Wisdom and Reason (common sense). Without its protection it cannot remain dynamic and slowly becomes the lie.
10. Know that Wisdom and Reason clear away clouds of perception and allow one to see the truth.
11. Know that Energy is founded in the power of creation. In art, life and the world there is energy all around us, there for us to use. The flow of energy is constant in a body free from the lie. One who has allowed the static nature of the lie to consume them is dependent upon external sources of energy to survive.
12. Know that the fruit of the truth is the benefit of creatures and that of the lie is their harm.
13. Know that the power of the truth is to return creation to the mean and reestablish its kinetic potential for good.
14. Do not blindly listen to the words of any man but instead use the virtues to decide where the flow of truth will take you. Reason is the path to the truth and there are many paths to the lie.
15. Do not be swept up in the energy of the crowd but instead ask yourself if you believe in the message of its leaders.
16. Always be aware of the world around you. The dynamic flow of truth will guide you if you pay attention to where it is headed.
17. Do not change what others say to fit your needs, instead seek to change their minds by opening a channel to the truth.
Chapter 4: The Message
1. Know first and always that the message is omni present.
2. Know that those who seek to know the light will be bathed in its magnificence.
3. Know that this search for the light is a dynamic journey which is without end.
4. Know that all of reality is a cycle of energy within a cycle of energy, moving forever.
5. Know that those who fail to grow within this dynamic are moving counter to the flow.
6. Know that change is a part of this dynamic flow. That which is old will be replaced with that which is new in the eternal revolution.
7. Know that God speaks to his people and they all interpret it.
8. To each culture their own interpretations.
9. In conjunction with others; they will find the truth of the message.
10. Know that his people can speak to him.
11. Those who seek God shall find him listening.
12. Beware of any man who comes as the one and only true prophet of the light.
13. He shall seek to build churches in its name and establish religion.
14. Religions are stagnant repressive representations of the message.
15. They seek to hold a dynamic message in an unchanging stagnancy.
16. Those who seek to establish religions deny the dynamic nature of the universe.
17. Those who find comfort in the churches should seek comfort in the homes of their families and neighbors.
Chapter 5: Human Perspective
1. Know that all humans are inherently flawed.
2. As every human is inherently flawed; so shall their interpretations of the message be flawed.
3. As every humans perspective of reality is limited: no man shall be infallible.
4. Embrace your successes and failures: Learn and grow all your life.
5. Share with the world what you know and listen to what the world knows.
6. Seek out the barriers to truth and abolish them.
7. Seek out the message in yourself and in the world as you will.
8. Embrace your humanity and enjoy life.
9. Your life shall be your true spirituality, a life of growth and dynamic flow.
10. Speak with your brothers and sisters but do not force them to listen.
11. Listen to your brothers and sisters but do not force them to speak.
12. Exercise your perceptions; expand your reality.
13. Do not accept limitations to your growth.
14. Innovation, Synthesis, Change: all in fractal are your true natures.
I didn't write this, but I can relate because I remember it well. I miss those days.
According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were kids in the 40's,50's, 60's, 70's or even the early 80's, probably shouldn't have survived.
Our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paint, the slats were apparently too far part, and there were no bumper pads.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets, and when we rode our bikes we didn't have any helmets. Not to mention the risks we took hitchhiking. As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a pickup truck on a warm day was always a special treat.
We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle. Horrors! We sampled cake batter and cookie dough with raw eggs in it, and survived. We ate cupcakes, bread and butter, ice cream, and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we were not overweight because we were always outside playing. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle, and no one actually died from this. We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then rode down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we earned to solve the problem. We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the street lights came on. No one was able to
reach us all day. No cell phones. Unthinkable! We did not have PlayStations, Nintendo 64, X-Boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, video tape movies, surround sound, personal cell phones, personal computers, or Internet chat rooms.
We had friends! We went outside and found them. We played dodge ball and baseball, and sometimes the ball would really hurt. We fell out of trees, got cut, and broke bones and teeth, and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. They were accidents. No one was to blame but us. Remember accidents? We had fights and punched each other and got black and blue and learned to get over it. We made up games with sticks and tennis balls and ate worms, and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes, nor did the worms live inside us forever.
We rode bikes or walked to a friend's home and knocked on the door, or rang the bell or just walked in and talked to them. Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to deal with disappointment...and move on.
Some students weren't as smart as others, so they failed a grade and were held back to repeat the same grade!!! Tests were not adjusted for any reason. Our actions were our own. Consequences were expected! The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke a law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law. Imagine that!
This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers and problem solvers and inventors, ever. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned from it all.
And you're one of them! Congratulations.
Please pass this on to others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before lawyers and government regulated our lives.
To me, heroes are not rockstars, sports people, actors and actresses, or anyone of the like... to me, they are the unknown everyday people who do very courageous things such as fire fighters, police, EMTs, doctors, and people who not only save lives, but change them in a positive way. Heroes to me are people who stick to their guns when it comes to personal morals and ethics, who stand by and act upon what is not only right, but fair.
This lady is a hero, and here is her story.
Bank of America fired Jackie Ramos after she took a stand against the bank's $15 "convenience" charges and $39 over-the-limit fees so she could sleep better at night.
"There was something inherently evil about my job," the 23-year-old said in a YouTube video she uploaded on Nov. 27, two days after her termination.
Ramos, of Fairburn, Ga., worked as a "customer advocate," which involved calling people who fall behind on credit card payments and either encouraging them to pay or modifying their accounts. But not all customers qualify for modification programs that will help them, and Ramos grew tired of saying no after six months on the job.
"So I stopped denying people," said Ramos. "I helped people get on programs that they didn't necessarily qualify for but who definitely needed the help."
Bank of America declined to comment on Ramos's video but confirmed her account of the firing.
"Ms. Ramos clearly violated some bank policies, particularly around misrepresenting customer information," said spokesman Tony Allen. "Perhaps more egregious, she encouraged customers to misrepresent their information."
Allen said that as of Oct. 31, Bank of America has modified over one million customer accounts totaling $10 billion in outstanding debt by lowering interest rates or modifying monthly payments. He said the bank expects to modify between 1.2 and 1.5 million consumer and small business credit card accounts in all of 2009.
In an interview with HuffPost, Ramos emphasized that she did not make the video out of any bitterness toward Bank of America, and she said that she does not consider her former employer any worse than other credit card companies -- she's angry about the whole system.
Story continues below
"I feel like there's a real credit problem in this country," she said. "Too many people are complacent... Slavery was also legal at one point in time. It was the law. Now we have 30 percent interest rates, $39 late fees and over-limit fees. I want the laws changed. I want the federal government to protect its people and do what it's supposed to do."
YouTube has been an effective venue for bank customers outraged that an industry kept afloat with taxpayer dollars is raising fees, interest rates and minimum monthly payments. Ann Minch of Red Bluff, Calif. won a reduced interest rate after she declared a "debtors' revolt" in September. Her video spawned imitators such as former Bank of America employee Ben Frasier of Douglas, Ore., who said "Bank of America will stop at nothing to turn an insane profit at your expense."
Personal finance guru Suze Orman hailed the "debtors' revolt" and said banks should take notice.
In her video, Ramos said she'd never forget one customer in particular -- a 24-year-old mother with cancer who'd recently lost her mom and husband but still wanted to pay off a $6,000 debt. The woman didn't qualify for any program that would help her.
"She sobbed on the phone telling me she couldn't afford the 30 percent interest... that we had her account on. She couldn't afford the $39 late fee, the $39 over-limit fee. She told me that we were her first credit card when she turned 18, we were her only credit card, and that she was a loyal customer. And given the time to be on this earth a little while longer she would have always remained a loyal customer.
"According to Bank of America, she doesn't have enough income to be put on a program, but she can however keep paying the high interest rates on the account, and fees, because at the end of the day, it is her account, she did rack up the debt, she was late, and she did deserve the 29.99 percent interest rate."
Ramos lives with her fiance and two-year-old son in Fairburn, Ga.
******************* MORE ON THE STORY *******************
Here's a testimonial from a former Bank of America customer assistance employee. She was fired on Monday for offering repayment plans to too many customers, even those who "deserved" the 29.99% APR for making late payments. After hearing her story, you might conclude that this job was never a good fit for her skills. The next time you run up against a dead-sounding CSR, though, remember that people like Jackie don't make for profitable collections department employees, which is why they don't stick around for long.
Below is a transcript in case you can't see the video:
My name is Jackie Ramos, and I would like to tell everyone a story. I am a former employee at Bank of America in Georgia. I worked in the customer assistance department from May 1st to November 23rd, 2009. And by the way, "customer assistance" is a euphemism for "the collections department."
Every day I came to work and did just as I was supposed to: I collected. In fact, I was one of the top performers of my department, even outdoing those who were more tenured than I was. But something was wrong. There was something inherently evil about my job.
I'm not sure if Bank of America knows this, but we are in a recession, and most of us, we are hurting.
Day in and day out, I was told to charge people who had already fallen behind in their credit card bills an additional $15 just to make a payment with me. As I was told by my manager, it was a convenience fee. I was told to deny refunding as many late and over the limit fees as I could. There was even one month I was given a verbal warning about the amount of fees that I refunded, because as I was told so many times, Bank of America is a corporation, and they are for profit.
There is something we have in my department called a Fix Pay. Essentially it is a program that turns your balance into an installment loan. It stops all fees on the account, and it also closes your account. In order to get a Fix Pay, though, you have to qualify by answering a rather irrelevant set of questions, like how much you spend on groceries and how much your cellphone bill is. Day in day out I had to deny countless people who needed the program but didn't qualify. Too often I would have to give them the spiel about, "I can't accept you [into the program] because your disposable income is too negative," and then they would just sit there on the phone and say, "Well, if I could afford to pay my bill, why would I need a program?"
I will never forget one card holder. A 24-year-old woman with a child, just found out she had cancer, she lost her mom and her husband all in the same week. Of course she had a very limited income. She had to quit her job. But she still respected Bank of America enough to try to pay off her $6,000 debt. But she just needed help. She sobbed on the phone telling me she couldn't afford the 30 percent interest that we had her--sorry, 29.99 percent interest--that we had her account on. She couldn't afford the $39 late fee, the $39 over the limit fee. She told me that we were her first credit card when she turned 18, we were her only credit card, and that she was a loyal customer, and given the time to be on this earth a little while longer she would have always remained a loyal customer. I couldn't put her on the program, she didn't have enough income.
According to BOA she doesn't have enough income to be put on the program, but she can however keep paying the high interest rate on the account, and fees, because at the end of the day it is her account, she did rack up the debt, and she was late, so she did deserve that 29.99 percent interest rate that she had, and it wasn't up to Bank of America to help her figure out how to get this debt paid off. It was up to her.
There's a joke in my department: upstairs they sell you the credit, downstairs we collect on it. Too often I heard stories about how senior citizens and college students were specifically targeted, so Bank of America could continue to make money off of them. I had one elderly lady who was legally blind. Every month she sent them the incorrect amount because she couldn't see. Her 3 percent APR after 3 times being late went to 29.99 percent. She actually told me that one of the associates told her she needs to look at her statements more clearly.
After all, who better to target than the young and the old. Don't deny for a second that there are systematic practices put in place to keep America in debt.
I'm not doing this video because I'm bitter. I'm not doing this video because I hate [my old boss]. I still have a lot of respect for him. Out of all the interviews I had in my life, I will never forget the one I had with him. He told me the most interesting interview question he's ever been asked is, "What keeps you up at night?"
Before I got that job, that question didn't really make sense to me. Who asks that in an interview, I thought? But now that I've been in that department for a while, it makes sense, it does seem normal. All the people that I've had to deny [repayment] programs to--they kept me up at night. All the people that I've pissed off with a $15 "convenience fee"--they kept me up at night. All the people who were dying, lost a child, husband, mom, dad, all the people who lost their jobs and sat on the phone sobbing to me that if we just gave them a little bit of help, they could make ends meet--they kept me up at night. All the angry cardholders who told me the reason why Bank of America is the corporation that it is, is off the hard work of them and their tax dollars--they kept me up at night.
So... I stopped denying people. I helped people get on programs that they didn't necessarily qualify for, but who definitely needed the help. Every day I was told three things:
* do the right thing for the customer;
* think of yourself as a customer;
* and do the right thing for the company.
I figured if I placed more cardholders on programs at affordable rates, then maybe they could afford their light bill, or even enjoy a trip with their child to the movies. If the account was affordable for the card holder, it wouldn't charge off. I mean, that seems as simple as 1 and 1 being 2. But my company didn't think so.
At the end of the day I would love to have a company that thought of me as more than just a dollar bill. I would love to have a company just be more humanitarian, and think of me as a person instead of a profit.
But the three things I was told to think about every day in my interactions with cardholders didn't matter. In fact, only one of them did. "Do what is right for the company." Again, Bank of America is for profit. They would rather charge 30 percent interest anyway, than give hard working Americans like me and you a lower interest rate and work with us instead of against us.
So, [my boss] fired me. He told me I can't put people on programs who don't deserve it. During our meeting, he asked me if what I did was right. I looked him dead in the eye and I said, "Absolutely." I know he was expecting me to maybe say no or to apologize, but there's no apology. There's no way I could look myself in the mirror every day and justify not helping someone when I had the power to do it.
Given the opportunity to do it again, I wouldn't change a thing. He actually looked at me, he told me that he understood why I did what I did, he said I had a really big heart. But at the end of the day, it was policy, and he had to let me go. He told me my manager would escort me to the security desk and that all my stuff would be there.
And he was right. All my stuff was there in two boxes, all my awards, all the pictures of my son, even a plate of food that I had on my desk. [My manager] packed all my belongings, including the plate of food, and threw it in the box. The food got all over my shoes and awards, even the picture of my son. After all, Bank of America? They're just a corporation. They're not concerned with their employees' well-being or clearly even their cardholders.
There's a saying in my department that you are as good as your last payment. No truer words could have been spoken.
I'm not necessarily sad about losing my job. I felt like I took a stand and I did what was morally correct. I have a wonderful support system, I have a college degree, and I consider myself personable, so I'm sure I'll land back on my feet. In fact, as my manager was escorting me outside she told me that if I needed a reference, she would highly recommend me to everyone. I received nothing but accolades while I was at Bank of America. Even while I was getting fired my boss told me that out of anyone she's ever met I've had the highest morals and biggest heart she's ever seen, and that means more to me than my job.
At the end of the day, I don't have anything keeping me up at night. I did the right thing in God's eyes and I'm sure that He'll bless me. But [boss], can you say the same?
Update: A reader asked what will happen now to those customers who Jackie approved for a repayment plan even though they didn't qualify. Here's her response:
The last cardholder that I approved for the program will be rejected. My boss has no way of knowing everyone I've helped because BoA has an outdated recording system. Most phone calls between reps and cardholders aren't recorded. The only reason this call was recorded is because once a month my manager has to listen to our calls so the system randomly recorded this conversation.
I am grateful every day, not just today; but since today is Thanksgiving and people tend to focus their gratitude on this day, today is appropriate for this email where I'd you to consider what you are grateful for.
Living live in gratitude and abundance is not something you do once a year or just on a certain day of the week when you can schedule it in; living in gratitude and abundance is something we should do every second of every day. We all have our maladies, our trials, our tribulations, that which binds us in many ways can also be the catalyst to setting ourselves free. These challenges vary between each person, some are much harder than others, and some people can handle some things that others simply could not, but in every case, there is an opportunity to learn to give, to show and to share our gratitude and abundance.
When we accept these things as tools for us to use so that we may grow inside and become a better person, we not only change our perceptions, we change ourselves, our own world and the world-at-large. Accepting these as tools in and of itself is a lesson and can be rather challenging for some people to overcome and see it in this way; but trust me when I say it makes all the difference in the world.
The difficulties in life, (and we all have them), are blessings whether we realize it or not. Life without challenges would be rather boring, and we all have these in our lives for good reason... so that we as spiritual beings may grow and learn who we are and to help us become who we wish to be.
When we actively live our life in gratitude and abundance, with the flowing positive energy we focus, we attract that which we give, that which we are, and thus we not only receive within, but we have even more to give from within to the service of others.
I am grateful for the love of my life, my soul mate Vicki, as well as that of my family and friends.
I am grateful to be cancer-free since April 2001.
I am grateful for my wonderful job and all of the opportunities it has presented me.
I am grateful for being laid off from both of my last two jobs because I have become better because it it.
I am grateful for being able to earn my IT certifications.
I am grateful for all that I am, all that I have, all that I have been blessed with, all that I will be blessed with, and most importantly of all, all that I will be able to bless others with.
May you know your blessings on this and on every day.
I've had a blog for awhile, but never really promoted or did much with it, but that's all changing. I'm recently (as of November 2009)revised it and will use this blog as my primary place for posting my writings, whether they are articles, personal thoughts of day to day happenings, or even snippets of excerpts from one of the books I'm always working on.
In the past, I've pursued the music business as well as the IT world; and while I had passion for those things; it isn't even close to my love of writing. That's a large part of who I am and what I do. I'm a writer, so I write. My other (and even greater passion) is my wife, my immediate and extended family; and I believe that this blog will be a wonderful outlet for me to share and serve others through words, ideas, concepts and goals. Writers are an odd lot, like many creative people are. The writing is the art form, but the art is in the creation of the art form, and it's there that the joy of creation exists. Like any creative person, we wish to not only create, but to share our creations with the World at large in the hope of making the World a better place. I hope to use this blog to be a venue in with which I may do that with my writings.
I'm going to be taking some of my selected past writings and putting them online in their complete form; while others I may only take mere snippets from to entice people to wait for the full article or book. I look forward to your comments, suggestions, ideas, stories, whatever you wish to share with me to help improve the blog, and ultimately, our World.
I ask that you read the articles and if you like them and my blog, to please let others know by sharing my blog's address with people you know, visiting it often, comment on posts, link to it from your own blog, toss it out on social networking sites, and so forth. Thanks in advance.
The longer explanation takes a bit more time; so please read on…
The vampires of which I write are not the romantic, Hollywood type; nor are they based on Dracula and out prowling the night in search of your blood either. Real vampires are everywhere. Most of the vampires you’ll encounter belong to the more common kind of the two types of vampires. This first type of vampire is rather unaware of their vampiric nature; yet hey are still vampires and still dangerous nonetheless. It’s just that they’re not really aware of what they are doing, how or why they are doing it. It’s other type of vampire, the ones who are consciously aware of their nature and knowingly act upon it; that are the more dangerous type of vampire to contend with. While both kinds of vampires exist, thankfully this second type is quite rare in comparison to the first.
These vampires do not steal your blood, they steal your energy. These vampires are known as “Psychic Vampires”, or Psy-Vamps” for short; and their existence is acknowledged by many people. Most of the vampire’s victims are those who are unaware and/or unprotected. Hanging garlic around your neck, carrying holy water and wooden stakes isn’t going to do the trick I’m afraid; but Grounding, Centering, Shielding and being aware of you own energy field, will. It’s here that we get into the areas of offense vs. self-defense, which methods to use, when, where and why; as well as personal morals and ethics. I leave such things to each person to judge for themselves and to inspire each person to have cause to investigate such things on their own. My task and point of this article is simply to bring the vampire’s existence out of the darkness and into the light of your awareness.
It’s important to Ground, Center and Shield as often as you can, especially whenever you are around crowds of people, in public, or anywhere that may contaminate your energy field or attract others who wish to take from or harm it (and you) in some way either knowingly or unknowingly. It’s always important as well to be aware of your surroundings, on all levels, at all times. Like a Boy Scout, the motto stands here as well: “Be Prepared”.
What really motivates me from within to be the best that I can be?
The answer is simple: True love for my wife and the life she has lived.
I first met Vicki in 2001 at an event held by a social group my then-girlfriend Heidi and I belonged to. (Heidi actually introduced us.) At first sight of Vicki, I felt some sort of connection at a very deep level that I just couldn’t place my finger on at the time. After awhile I stopped trying to figure it out. Maybe it was from a past life? Maybe I saw her somewhere once before? I figured “who knows.”, and I let it rest at that. I just couldn’t figure it out, so I let it go.
I became friends with Vicki and we talked on and off over the years, but it was sporadic at best – especially after Heidi at I broke up in 2003. During the time I was dating Heidi, Vicki would often tell her how badly she was treating me. (and Heidi did. Not all the time, but she had a bad case of OCD, other mental health issues, etc.) Vicki defended me quite a bit. (Some of this I saw, most of it I did not find out until years later when Vicki and I got together and started on our path together as a couple.)
In September of 2005, my mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer and I sent out an email to various people asking for good energy, prayers, call it what you will, I needed the support, as did my family. My father was losing his wife of 56 years, I was 38 and losing my first parent, my dad has 2 forms of cancer, I had cancer at 34 years old, my mom had had breast cancer years earlier, so cancer has ravaged my family for years, but now it was terminal in my immediate family. One of the people I emailed was Vicki. Having lost her own father to cancer and her mother to long illness and heart attack years earlier, she knew what I was going through and wanted to be there for me. We emailed back and forth a few times, writing, talking, and making plans to get together.
Now something strange happened….
In my last email before we were to meet, I told her that I was “all in”. Something inside of me, more than a feeling, call it “a knowing”, told me to fully commit to her. At the time I didn’t know why I did such a thing, especially for a casual friend that I was just meeting to visit with, but I trusted in my choice and went with it. Upon meeting her in her drive, after talking a bit, I gave her a kiss; and it is a magical kiss I will never forget. Description of it is beyond words, but it was all the verification I needed that my choice to go “all in”, was the right one to make.
We sat and talked, learned a lot about each other in a very short period of time. After I’d left that night, I couldn’t stop thinking about her, so the next night I went back, proposed to her, and except for 2 days, we’ve not been apart one day since November of 2005. (as of this article’s writing, it is January 2008.) The entire beginning of Vicki and I’s relationship inspires me. In that one kiss, I knew I found my soulmate.
Over the next year, we learned a lot about each other and went through many trials and tribulations. She lost her business of 25 years and her house of almost as long, which I will explain more in-depth in a bit. I had slowly started moving out of the music business, had to get my first day job in 7 years, moved in with her, and we had to find a new place to live together, along with a few other things we went through as well together. We went through things that would have torn many an established relationship apart, let alone a fledgling new one. We were baptized in fire, so to speak. Our lives were one big 5 alarm of constant emergencies and major upheaval, but our life together was also one of strong bliss. The foundation of our relationship cannot be shaken. It is solid beyond words.
When Vicki’s first husband went crazy (literally, - and not because of her), they had owned 2 business, a tax accounting firm, and a video store business; so naturally the tax accounting business did the financial stuff for the video store business as well. By the end of it all, he had gambled away $125,000 and was living inside of a feces covered car in the casino’s parking lot. It wasn’t until she threatened media attention that the casino evicted him. To make matters worse, a good part of their relationship was troubled by domestic violence that resulted in physical abuse of her and her 3 daughters. Eventually she escaped from the marriage after trying for years to save it, to no avail. The IRS ended up shutting down her video store, and she managed to get it re-opened again, which made the local newspapers. So now without a husband and no child support or family to rely upon, she raised 3 daughters by herself, paid a mortgage on the house and maintained a business (the video store), for 25 years. She ended up mortgaging the house over and over after paying off each one, so that she could use the money to finance her business. The last time she did this, she had attempted to open a 2nd video store, a first for her, and the location and business was so bad that she had to let all of the employees go at the 2nd store and run it by herself. She’d work 12-15 hour days with hardly a customer. Eventually, the 2nd store’s financial loss killed it and took the 1st store down with it as well. For 10 months she survived just on Internet sales of inventory, eventually buying one last video store in November 2005. 10 months earlier, her 2 stores had closed, and this was one last valiant effort in the video business. Of course things have continued downward in the entire video industry. Here was a woman who innovated the video business by adding tanning to video stores. A 10 years in office ex-president of the Video and Software Dealers Association (VSDA), someone well known within the industry, and she was barely hanging on.
She inspires me.
In August 2006 when my mother died from her cancer, my father, my 2 brothers and 2 of my 3 sisters were there in the room. Some of my siblings have been married for over 20 years, yet their spouses were not there. Beside me, my soulmate, Vicki, a woman I’d been with only 10 months, was by my side as my mother passed beyond the veil. The bond formed by Vicki and my mother is a strong one. My only regret is that they didn’t have more time together, that Vicki didn’t know my mom when she was well, before she was sick, but they did get to know each other, which is important to me. The fact that they bonded like they did, that is a miracle and a very precious thing to me as well. So, Vicki and I faced death together with a close loved one. Vicki also faces death everyday because she has some major health conditions. The doctors told her in 1995 when she was diagnosed with Systemic Lupus (SLE), that she had 5-7 years to live. Add onto all of this the fact that this is not her only major health issue, (another one is connective tissue disease) and you can compound the degree to which I am inspired by her. All of the things of which I wrote above, she has done while in not so great of health.
She is one of the strongest people I know. She lives life with a passion that inspires me. She fights when others would have long given up, having walked that road in life alone for so many years. She’s alone no more, because she has me and I have her.
She is not only the love of my life, she is my life.
Each morning I wake up next to her, I am inspired.
Each day I go through life out in the World, I represent her, and I am inspired.
Each time I look into her eyes, I am inspired.
Each time I hold her hand, I am inspired.
Each time I kiss her, I am inspired.
Each time I touch her, I am inspired.
Each time I think of her, I am inspired.
In our love, I am inspired, and in inspiration, I love.
Update: 11/21/09 - October 7th, 1009, Vicki and I celebrated our two year wedding anniversary and in early 2010, we'll be moving into our new, custom-buolt house.
One day in the summer of 2009, I was walking in one of my favorite places to visit; a stone and brick labyrinth that’s nestled in the small back lot of a wonderful shop in Minneapolis, Eye of Horus. As I meditated as I made my way through the labyrinth, weaving around its path to the center and out again. My body in motion, my mind calm, in the stillness of the silence of my mind, the following words came to me:
May love guide us,
May fear leave us,
May peace be with us all.
This could be called a prayer, a spell, a mantra, a poem, or any other host of names by whatever each person prefers to identify it as; it is a simple and yet powerful message that I leave up to each individual to determine what it means for themselves. What I offer below is what this message of the labyrinth means to me.
We are born out of love from The Source; but once we are here, we learn fear and we spend the rest of our lives trying to get back into that place of unconditional love without fear; to get back in that place of peace, and to come full circle. As I walk full circle in the labyrinth, so does my soul journey towards doing the same in life. I am not without fear, though I have lessened it while on my journey in this lifetime, it is an ongoing process my own spiritual evolution. Like the flowers that grow around the labyrinth and change with the seasons of nature; so it is within our own nature to we grow and change as well. We are not above nature, but part of it. The more we not only intellectually realize this, but the more we feel it within our soul and the interconnectedness of all; then the more we can move from those places of fear back into the places of love, moving ever towards inner peace.
The labyrinth teaches us a powerful message; but it isn’t anything new. Many voices, many messengers, one message; but sometimes those messengers aren’t always human. In this case, the labyrinth spoke to my soul and my human mind formulated the words from the wisdom of my silent mediation while walking its pathways.
What messengers are in your own life?
Do you hear them or do you let the cacophony of society’s noise of the mundane world drown out what your soul seeks?
Are you primarily living out of a place of love our a place of fear?
The next time you’re in Minneapolis, I suggest talking your own walk in meditative silence with an open-heart around the labyrinth, listening with your own soul. You may receive some insight and your own message as well. When you’re done there, take a walk upstairs and partake of the art gallery they have as well. Eye of Horus is an excellent store that provides great products and services to the communities of the greater Minneapolis-Saint Paul/Twin Cities area; but perhaps the best thing about them is that labyrinth of love in that back lot, the former neighborhood dumping ground that is now not only a shining example of urban renewal; but a place in which one may renew their own soul.
Disclaimer: I am not paid to post this about Eye of Horus or the labyrinth; as I do so of my own free will and accord. This posting on my blog is not a paid advertisement, but rather a supportive statement for something I strongly believe in…. hope and love.
In this moment, I am; but am I fully in this moment?
If you’re like most people, your mind is divided into a sea of thoughts about your past, your present, and an array of infinite possibilities; but are you missing out on the present? While it’s good to revisit the past sometimes and relive some memories, to reacquaint ourselves with the lessons learned lest we soon forget; the past isn’t a place in which we shouldn’t dwell too long, but merely acknowledge as a path we’ve travelled. When we look back down that path, we can see our footprints, where we walked, stumbled, and where we ran; we can see our triumphs and our failures, but these things helped us to be who we are today….and Today is what it’s all about. We do not want to diminish our past, because to do so would diminish who we are; but we instead want to let the past remind us without the need to embrace it in the Present. If we constantly embrace our past, then we live in it instead of acknowledging it. In doing so, we lose out in this moment, this very moment.
Did you feel it?
There goes another one.
Another moment passed.
Again.
As these moments pass as you read these words, do you focus on the words you’ve just read individually? My guess is probably not. If you’re like most people, you’ll focus on the words you are currently reading while remembering the collective whole of words past read; so if we can focus our minds like that to words on paper, why can’t we focus our minds like that to our own lives?
WE CAN!! Yes, that’s right!! WE CAN!!
It’s simply a matter of changing our focus, living in the moment as if we are reading a book; focusing on the current moment we’re currently living, while remembering the collective experiences of our life past lived. Isn’t that wonderful? It’s so beautiful and elegantly simple in its beauty; so simple in just being that it’s glorious. To breathe in each moment with focus, is to live each moment with focus; and do live that, is a wonderful blessing. Be blessed. Bless yourself by choosing to live in the glory of the moment.
Think of your Past as your personal reference section in the library of your mind. It can be a great place to look for some source material, but if you want any sort of quality on a given subject vs. just mere reference points; you’ll need to move into another section of the library where books of more substance are; and that section is the Present. It’s here in the Now of the Present that you not only read the current book of your life, but it’s also here that you’re writing it as the soul author of your own story. As we write our daily lives, time passes and our mind forgets the details of our life lived, so the books we write become additions to the editions of our reference library. Details become lost into tidbits of reference material; memories are merely parts of the collective whole of our incarnate experience which is part of the divine dance between the human and the eternal life force which we all are.
We are always creating and writing the story of our lives on a second by second basis, reading our own book and the works of others; but when we’re In that creative moment in the process of our life, I must ask if we are we fully in that moment, or are we looking in the reference section or thinking about possible future chapters we’ve yet to write? How ambiguous and vague our future is!! Affected by our own choices, the choices of others, and all in a sea of universal energy that ebbs and flows with the consciousness and connectedness of All. How wonderful it all is and the infinite possibilities we have!!
The future is unwritten because by the time it is written, it has become our Present. To try and have a pinpoint focus and grasp on the future is akin to staring into the Sun while trying to nail Jello to a wall. Not only is it blinding, but it’s an exercise it futility as well. So what of these possible futures, these unwritten chapters of our lives? What do we concern ourselves with and why? The answer is simple. If we focus on the moment of the Now, the very thing in which we not only live and breathe but simply are; then the future will take care of itself. This is not to dismiss planning, but as the saying goes…”the best laid plans of mice and men…” The universe is a dynamic trickster who will always circumvent our static-laid plans. No matter how dynamically we incorporate variables into the equation of our planning, does it ever go exactly as planned for us in the exact way we imagined it? Not really. (..and sometimes that’s actually for the best too, if you think about it.)
So relax. Breathe deeply and know within your soul the moment in which you live and are. Know the moment and be the moment. Living fully in the Present moment is the ultimate present of all to All.
Much has been written about ethics and morals, but they are only factors, not the subject of this article. For brevity’s sake, I will say that ethics and morals are unique to each of us, but when people live together in a village, city, or otherwise have a societal community at large; those individual morals and ethics contribute to the collective whole. The individuals that make up these communities and society may have some commonalities between them as far as ethics and morals go; but every one affects the All, and therefore the actions of one affect each of us even though we may not feel or recognize them, there are still effects.
All that being said, we as a society run quite the gamut of individuals of both sexes; some good, some not so good, and some, downright evil. (for common understanding I use these terms of “good” “bad” “evil”, etc, but I do not subscribe to the absolute meanings of them).
Now, all THAT being said, it’s time to get the point since I’ve laid down the preliminaries of where I’m coming from for the purpose of common understanding…
I had a best friend once, although the relationship was a bit lopsided in many ways for both of us. I relied on him to work on my cars, help move me, hang out (and in our younger days), get into trouble with, etc. For most of the 27 years (since I was 13) that we were friends; a lot of it was good and some bad. There was a time (1987-1997) when we didn’t talk for because of his drug use years ago, and I had to get away from his decline. I couldn’t be around to watch it, and I didn’t want the drama, the negative energy, etc. In 1997, after much caution on my part, to make sure that the bullshit was done and over with, we got back on speaking terms, hanging out, etc.
A few years down the road, he got married and then one night, he beat his wife and I had to call the cops on him. It happened so fast, I was in shock. Unless your life is in immediate danger, you do not hit a woman. Clearly, this was not the case. He went off on here because he was drunk and stupid. After things settled down and he got out of jail, we had a talk. I told him, “Never do that again. Ever.”
Fast-forward a few years, as that happened in the early 2000s. He now has a girlfriend who just gave birth to his 6t kid and his 1st with her. One night and drunk again, he strangled her so hard that he left fingerprint bruises on her neck. He really did a number on here from what I hear from a friend of mine that was living with them at the time. He threatened to kill her, to kill him, and I don’t even want to know whatever else. Again, I was not there, and it’s probably a very good thing I wasn’t. All of this took place on October 12th, 2007, the night before my wedding reception on the 13th. (He was my best friend at the time as well as the best man at my wedding on the October 7th). Needless to say, he didn’t make the reception because he was in jail. Did that upset me? A bit, but not really at all compared to the fact that he did it again – He hit a woman and he’s probably been doing it all along. By my own ethics and morals, I cannot abide by this, nor associate with someone, even a best friend of 27 years, who does this. There is quite simply, NO excuse for domestic violence – ever. Obviously he has never changed and probably never will. He will always be a drunkard, a liar, and a woman beater.
His boss and his boss’s wife were at my wedding reception the night after all of this went down. I told him in no uncertain terms that he (meaning my now ex-best friend), are done. I made it perfectly clear; and I guess his boss must have given him the message because I haven’t heard from or talked to my ex-best friend since the day before it happened on the 12th. Apparently his boss now has him living with him and allowed him to keep his job. While that is his choice, it’s mine to not associate with either of them. I cannot condone such actions, associate with those who beat women or those who help the abusers continue their self-destructive patterns, It will not be a matter of IF, but WHEN he does it again. Maybe this time he will kill someone, and I pray that he, his boss, and all those who support them can live with their choices and consequences thereof. Unfortunately for them, I cannot abide by such things and because of this, friendships have been broken and people have been banished without prejudice from my life.
I am not angry over this whole ordeal, or even at my friend. Anger is a choice I will not make; and anger is a choice he does much, which is why he is the way he is. Since July 2005, I’ve been on a different path than I was before. It was a time of major change in my life and my spiritual beliefs. I have evolved and become a much more peaceful person who seeks enlightenment, lives in the moment, and has become free of many bonds.
In November 2005, a friend of mine turned wife, got together. She was abused by her ex-husband many years ago. Divorced since 1995, she has healed in many ways, not so much in others. She still has some fear, some scars, some wounds that have mostly healed; and whether they ever will, I don’t know. Not only would I lose her respect, her daughter’s respect (as they look up to me as their father), my family and friend’s respect, but also I would compromise my own ethics, morals and self-respect. The cost would be too high and one I choose not to pay. He’s not worth it.
I wrote this article not out of anger, not out of fear, not out of judgment, but out of choice. Those things are not an issue, as I have purged him and all around him from my life, forever banished.
The purpose of this article is hope.
Hope that maybe one day he will change, but somehow I doubt it. He hasn’t changed much in 27 years. I tried to warn his boss, but sadly, he didn’t listen to me. One would think when a friend ends a 27 year friendship; people would listen to the reasons why.
Hope that others will see not all men are bad or will stand by those who hurt others, especially women.
Hope that maybe this will inspire others to act if they have a similar situation in their own life, be it themselves or their friend who hits women.
Hope that there IS hope.
Ladies, trust me. If your man abuses you mentally, physically, and or emotionally, he lies, he cheats, he steals part of your soul, and he will do it again and again and again and again and…..
If you are in such a situation, it is not a matter of IF, but WHEN it happens again…and the next time, might be the LAST time. The choice is yours to stay or go.
May you choose well.
I have healed and do not hold harm nor anger. My message has been said to all who know me, and now to the World at large. It is done.
One day when I was alone, broke and feeling down, I prayed, "Lord, if I was wealthy all my problems would be gone".
The Lord replied, "You shall have wealth greater than you can imagine".
I struggled daily with life's problems, some of them harder than most people ever have. Every time I had money, it went to bills, drugs, and booze with very little, if any left over for savings or anything else. "If I could just save a little bit" I thought, "maybe it'd add up over time." but I never got rich or saved much. I wasn't greedy or looking for tons of money, I just wanted to get ahead, to have a little better life than the one I was living, that's all I ever wanted.
I simply couldn't do it alone.
Not my finances, Not my bills, Not my habits, Not my life.
One day I asked again. "Lord" I prayed; "Where is the wealth you promised me?"
The Lord replied, "You shall have wealth greater than you can imagine".
For years I fought, eventually with the help of my family, friends and faith, I got my feet back on the ground. I got a job, paid my bills, got clean of drugs and booze, and my life generally improved. One day I realized all I had in life and how things were coming together nicely. I was happy, made everyone around me smile, had my health, family, friends, etc. Still, I was confused. The Lord had promised me wealth, and yet I wasn't rich.
I prayed again, "Lord, thank you for all I have in life. What of my wealth though?"
The Lord replied, "You shall have wealth greater than you can imagine".
Life went on until one day, it happened. I died and went before the Lord. "Lord" I said; "I don't understand. I never attained the wealth you said I would"
"When you asked me about the wealth, what did I tell you?" said the Lord.
"You told me that I would have wealth greater than I can imagine". I said.
Then the Lord pointed down to Earth and said, "See your wealth".
I looked and before my eyes:
I saw every person I ever made laugh and smile.
I saw every person I ever made tell me how they were really feeling - and then made them feel better.
I saw every person I ever helped in my support group meetings.
I saw every person I ever met and their life better in some way because of me.
I saw every person I ever made their day better and they in turn did the same for someone else.
I saw every person I ever loved and who loved me.
I saw every person that touched my life in some way and helped me, even when I was helping them.
I saw every family member.
I saw every friend.
I saw how I made the World a little better place because I was in it.
I saw everyone, everywhere, every time, and everything before my eyes all at once. I then realized how truly wealthy I really was.
My "savings" was in people, in love, in family, in friends, not in material things or money. I had attained true wealth and indeed the best life of all.
I realized how I had been so wrong in my thinking on wealth. In a tone begging forgiveness in my voice, I said, "Lord...." but he put up his hand to stop my words.
Then the Lord simply smiled, pointed to Heaven's Gates as they opened and said, "You shall have rewards greater than you can imagine".
Ground, Center and Shield. What do these things mean and why should you do them?
Whether you’re working with energy for a specific purpose (prayer, casting a spell, doing healing such as with Reiki, etc), or just going through daily life; you may want to ground, center and shield as a practice of habit and self-protection. This is especially true for those people who are empathic or are sensitive to energy or work with it. Large crowds, people who project harmful energies, places, things of that nature are all around us, and whether we realize it or not, it affects us. By keeping ourselves grounded, centered and shielded, we keep ourselves on a steady foundation and help to minimize these other energies influence over us. We certainly can’t block everything out, but we can keep out as much as possible.
Grounding is where you project down into the center of the Earth and up to the center of the Universe and bring those energies into the pit of your stomach to ground yourself.
Centering, (done after grounding), is staying grounded and putting your energy field into balance through energy work. This can be accomplished through mediation, working with the chakras and the Kundalini or a multitude of different ways, although those are the paths I choose to use.
Shielding is just that…shielding. It’s where you block out as much of the harmful energies that you can while still letting the harmless energies in. I suggest a multi-layered shielding so that you can add or remove layers as needed. For example, if you are too shielding, then you won’t be able to work with energy for healing, such as Reiki.
While the techniques are as varied as the stars in the sky, the fundamental purpose of them is the same. I recommend that you find and adapt your own techniques for grounding, centering and shielding. Whatever works best for you is what is right for you to use, so experiment until you find what fits. There are many fine books and websites offering a variety of techniques from which you may start your research.
You can ground, center and shield as often as needed throughout the day, and I highly recommend doing so as part a meditation session each morning and each evening. In my personal practice, I do Japa mediation in the a.m. and Om mediation in the p.m., which works for me, and it may work for you. Again, find what works and use it.
As Gandhi stated in one of his many quotes, “We must become the change that we wish to see”. This profound and clear, yet simple statement is one which is which he is advocating free will, personal-choice and personal-responsibility to choose whether or not we change ourselves as individuals and change our own worldview. Sadly, it seems that so many do not see the truly basic message within these words, so the message goes not only unheard, but it’s not acted upon by many people. Some do hear it and act upon it, from what I have seen from some of the people I have met and seen in life; while many more people I have seen choose not to.
When we choose to change ourselves and our own worldview, we change ourselves and our own World; but when a group of like-minded people get together who have all done the same inner-work towards personal change; and they join together with a larger, focused intent to continue that process on a larger scale, they do so by showing others what they have done as individuals first, and then as a group of individuals working together to inspire others by not only their actions and deeds, but more importantly, how they have changed their own lives and who they are. They are who they wish to become because they create their own reality and live in the now, the present moment, in present mind, with focus on all that they are and desire to be.
By doing this on an individual basis, they send forth that energy which will hopefully inspire others to do the same. By joining together in a group, they hope to work together to continue that process on a larger scale. In the end, it still comes down to the one. It all comes down to the individual. It all comes down to YOU.
A community is a group of individuals who gather for a variety of reasons, be in political, religious, career-based, a hobby, ethnicity, or any number of one or more reasons; but in the end, it again all comes down to each individual, regardless of community or anything else but themselves, their own free-will, choices, and personal-responsibility
There is no “out there” or “them” to change. There is no one to blame but ourselves, if we choose to affix blame at all. Personally I see blame as pointless and would rather use that energy towards change and inner work than to focus it in some non-productive way; but that is all part of the learning process. We all must choose to walk our own paths.
The things above of which I wrote are not confined to anything, any group, any community, but rather to humanity as a whole. Humankind, for whatever reason, gets sidetracked by become personally-vested in and polarized to thinking and acting in many ways, all with expectations that others do the same, or expect certain results. All of this combined with linear thinking, the ego and the illusion of individuality, along with the perceived human need to apparently file, organize, categorize and label everything and everyone, all leads to separation vs. unity of the whole. Intellectually, maybe people know they are part of one whole, yet unless they feel it, unless they live it, unless they do the inner work and not only intellectually know but also feel that they are part of the All, nothing will change because they have not changed.
We have all read many articles and had many conversations regarding what needs to happen in our community due to the many issues with it; but I ascertain that the issues are again, not “out there”, but instead are within each of us, lying within each individual; and it is there that we must affect the most change first and foremost, which will then in turn affect the larger communities and humanity as a whole. Until we are ready to face our individual selves, until we are ready to change within, nothing will change until we do.
Humankind, Never before have you wrecked such havoc on yourselves or the Mother one which we all live. It is only too late to save yourselves if you choose it to be.
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